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(Yes, this is one of the things certain men found intimidating.) And I like these parts of myself a lot.Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case for me a few years ago.Being the person I was, I started to try to tone down my personality.I’d ask my date a lot of questions about his life, so that I wasn’t talking about my job or my studio apartment all that much.
But I now also believe that you need to still be yourself, not the person you think your date wants you to be.
I tend to let things roll off my back, but I’m not afraid to speak up if something pisses me off.
I’m independent — I live alone, I support myself, and I don’t need anyone to help me change a lightbulb.
But as I got older, and the men I’d date started calling me intimidating as a way to weasel out of the situation we were in, I realized that the opposite sex didn’t always see intimidation as a positive thing.
And in talking to my queer friends, I found that this phenomenon seems to mainly occur in heterosexual relationships.
It’s an odd realization to make, because part of what makes dating so complicated is the idea that you need to perform for the person sitting in front of you.