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He said it was even more painful than his divorce, realizing that Terry would never truly be his.Heartbroken, Howard had to walk away and is now only dating fellow divorcees.Use the Stitch Forums to dig in deeper on these issues and connect with people who can understand what it’s like to be a Widow or Divorcee. Rather than answer this question ourselves, we want to turn it over to you. What’s been your experience moving forward from death or divorce?Start by sharing your thoughts in the comments section below.Believing that love can happen again for them or for yourself requires strength, bravery and trial-and-error.The spectrum of eligibility is strenuous enough without throwing in a broken heart.As a result, the question has been asked: Should you be dating a widower as a divorcee, and visa-versa?For one member who has recently come out of a relationship (we’ll call him “Howard” since he did not want his name to be shared), said that it’s not something that he would be willing to do again.
If you search for ‘widow dating’ or ‘widower dating’—you’ll find a plethora of stories and solutions to ‘getting back out there again.’ While it means well—and is likely, solid information—sometimes, the most important person to ask is, well, yourself.
He said, “I’ll never date a widow again.” That’s just one story. It’s been a long time since I felt this way.”Another Stitch member, “Deborah,” who is both a divorcee and widow, shared with us that she has felt a gaping hole in her life for decades.
For another couple who met on Stitch (she a divorcee named “Lynn” and he a widower named “Paul”) the question of whether they would be compatible because of their different losses never came up. Maybe we cry for different reasons, but having a shoulder to cry on, someone I love, it doesn’t matter about how we got there, just that we found each other now.”Paul said, “Of course I miss my wife and yes she was my soul mate. She and I have built a new life together and every day I’m grateful to Stitch for leading me to her. Such a mix of different trauma and pain led her to feel that the only way to feel right again was to find another husband.
That’s what makes widower dating, widow dating or building a connection with a widower/widow that much more difficult.
After all, you or your potential partner invest time, energy and heart into their marriage and their partner was taken too soon from them.
At Stitch, many of our members are either widowed or divorced, which brings new challenges to finding a partner later in life.