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Like Alyssa, she frequently receives messages pointing out how "exotic-looking" she is.But she also frequently interacts with white men who try to flatter her by saying they picked her profile specifically because they don't like to date white women.What they're really saying, however, is crystal-clear: "You look different, so you're lucky I find you attractive."reported white people tended to be the most tone-deaf when it came to issues of race."I never really chose people based on race, but white guys were the only ones I got weird racist stuff from, so I was often skeptical of them," Alyssa said.She added, "It's so hard to think of a time when someone has brought up my heritage respectfully.I don't think it's happened yet." One question you should never, ever ask: Ultimately, there is no polite or respectful way to ask someone what their race is on a dating app or IRL. " may seem harmless, but they send many mixed race people on edge.
"I definitely see the 'No Asians' or 'No Latinos,' but also 'Into smooth Asians' or into 'sexy Latino men,'" he told "So what are you, anyway?Nobody walks away from online dating without a negative story or two, whether it's having to fend off the guy who won't stop asking for nude pics or that couple that thinks just because you're bisexual, you're down for a threesome. As a biracial person and the creator of the #biraciallookslike hashtag, I've experienced this firsthand.But the world of online dating can be difficult in a very specific way for those who identify as multiracial. Whether it's some drunk guy saying, "You're so hot, I don't care that you're Hispanic" (I'm not Hispanic), or someone finding out my dad is from India and then only wanting to talk about curry and Bollywood, my experiences as a multiracial woman have been marked by people just not knowing how to bring up race without being incredibly awkward.According to a 2012 study, nearly 9% of couples are of different races, nearly twice as many as there were in 2002.People are weird about race in the dating world, though, and despite wanting to come off as progressive and open-minded, many dating app users still have racial biases.
"They seem to think it's a compliment or a reason why they picked my profile to interact with," Vanessa told .