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There’s no denying labels can be very important, to help people forge a sense of identity in a world where they may feel more marginalised – every letter in the growing LGBTQIA alphabet has fought for and earned its place.
But just as labels can reassure, they can also confine or confuse, or seem like a restriction to those terrified of being defined by it for ever.
This kind of confidence is sexy in an I-know-what-I-want-and-it's-kind of way, and it'll make you feel more attractive for having felt this way toward somebody and acting on it.
If you keep overanalyzing his mixed signals, the best way to solidify an answer either way is to simply ask for one.
The straight guy is worried his “secret” will be uncovered while the gay or bi guy fears he’s being used or unworthy of a relationship in public view.
What does it mean to put a label on your sexuality, to assign a category to your own existence? Does it result from your actions, or how you feel inside?You can’t blame some for not feeling any desperate need to “belong” – with reported crimes against LGTBQ people on the up and a political atmosphere that feels increasingly likely to push back on the community’s hard-won freedoms.Although coming out is a huge part of your life as an LGBTQ person and can be a liberating experience, it’s not for everyone, and some men are rejecting this what you embrace their label but have sex with guys who don’t?Does it mean their lovers are any less available to them because they won’t pick a side?Of course, nobody needs a label, but for gay and bi guys who worked hard to establish their identity, how does it feel when the man they’re sleeping with won’t do the same?
And it's upsetting and limiting to both us and to the dudes who want to date us.